I'll Be Here In the Morning
by makesmyheadspin
Summary: Promo for the Happily N ever After Contest. "There's lots of things along the road I'd surely like to see. I'd like to lean into the wind and tell myself I'm free." Eric lives the life of a drifter, but can he put down roots when he meets Sookie? AH
1. I'll Be Here In the Morning

**I'll Be Here In The Morning**

Growing up a member of the upper class it would be easy to assume I had everything I could ever want. To complain would make me seem ungrateful, greedy or spoiled. I suppose I was all those things but, for what I considered to be the right reasons. I know what you're going to say. I've heard it all before.

"Oh, poor little rich boy." Go ahead, roll your eyes. You won't be the first.

The thing is, when you grow up not wanting for anything it's too easy to get comfortable. Not having to hustle for anything or really work for it didn't give me much satisfaction in having it. My parents never understood my reasons for wanting to carve out my niche in life. They couldn't fathom why I would want to buy my own car, even if it was a piece of junk, when they could hand me the keys to a fully loaded BMW the day before I turned sixteen. They couldn't understand why I would want to go to a state school and sleep packed in a dorm with two other guys when I could have a nice apartment of my own in Hartford while I attended Harvard. I was a lock to get in thanks to my father's legacy.

They didn't understand why I wouldn't just accept a job working for my father's Wall Street financial planning firm where I would start out making more money than some of the people who had been there for decades. They couldn't accept that I didn't want their handouts any more than they would want them themselves. They couldn't figure out why I wasn't excited by the prospect of marrying a rich man's wife who had basically been groomed to be my perfect mate. Everything about the girl was manufactured and fake.

I'd met her once at a dinner party my father was throwing. It was obvious to us both the second we met we were best suited to be friends and nothing more. She was beautiful, I won't deny that. Her name was Pamela. She was blonde, petite and had a witty streak a mile long she tucked away when she was in the presence of "society." We discovered we shared a similar discontent for the worlds we had grown up in, once I convinced her to drop the act. She quickly confessed that while she enjoyed certain aspects of etiquette, politeness and good manners, she also loved letting her hair down.

To prove her rebellious nature we'd gone together on her twenty-first birthday so she could get a bleeding butterfly tattoo on her lower back- a tramp stamp, she called it. Her parents would never approve of a tattoo at all, but especially not one in such a scandalous location. Believe it or not, I talked her out of getting it in a place that was much more...personal, if you will. I liked Pam. I liked her a lot. But we would never make a good married couple. At least not the sort of married couple we wanted to be.

Unlike our parents, we didn't see marriage as a business arrangement. We'd grown up in marriages like those. While our parents had grown to love one another _eventually_, that wasn't the reason they had married. Pam and I agreed that if we were to ever get married it would be because we were so in love with one another we couldn't imagine life separated from the person we were with. It was a somewhat lofty ideal, I can admit that now. We were young. We didn't quite know what we were talking about, although we never would have admitted it.

Since my parents had made a few concessions to indulge what they called 'my silly whims,' I did the same. It seemed only fair. So, while I got my way and went to the state school with the cramped dorm room, I studied business and finance. I hated it. I excelled because I do nothing half assed. I drove the crappy car but it was outfitted with every upgrade my parents could install, making it not really that crappy of a car after all. They made sure my bank balance never dipped below $5,000.00. If it did, it was because I was making charitable donations to causes I knew my parents would never approve of.

I graduated from college with a double major in business and finance. A position was created for me at my father's company. Pam and I were supposed to formally announce our engagement at the congratulatory dinner my parents were hosting the night I graduated. Instead of going to that dinner, Pam and I get shitbag wasted on cheep wine and passed out on a beach in East Hampton. Our parents were furious.

They refused to speak to either of us for nearly a week after the humiliation they'd suffered at the hands of their insolent children. In that time, Pam and I plotted our escape from lives we were destined to hate if we stayed. Pam decided she would room with some friends in a crappy East Village apartment in New York. She was a fairly talented painter and photographer. She planned to do that freelance while bouncing from place to place until she found somewhere that fit.

I, on the other hand, planned to hit the open road. So, after burning my social security card and donating all but $100 of what I had in the bank, I drove Pam to New York. I got her bags out of my trunk and set them down on the dirty sidewalk. For the first time in the six years I'd known her, I really kissed her. There was no doubt in my mind afterward, that Pam and I weren't destined to be lovers. We actually laughed about it and I promised I'd write her from wherever I ended up. She waved to me as I drove away. She would never admit it, but I know I saw a tear slide down her cheek.

Whether she was sad to see me go, or she was crying because she was free, I can't be sure. Frankly, it doesn't really matter. The love I had for Pam wouldn't fade, no matter how long it was before we saw one another again. She would always own a piece of me, just as I would own a piece of her. Maybe we were more right for one another than I'd ever realized.

Still, I traveled on and I didn't look back.

**One Year Later**

The warm water felt good. After washing up in streams and lakes, a shower was about as close to heaven as I'd been since I watched the sun come up in North Carolina a few weeks before. I stood with my hands braced on the tile wall and just let the water wash away the grit and dirt from the many miles I'd walked. When I looked down at myself it was hard to believe it was my own body I was staring at. I'd always taken pretty good care of myself, but it was nothing in comparison to how fit I'd become as of the last few months.

My car died just before winter started while I was in Memphis. The smarter thing to do would be go south or west. I'd thought about hitting Arizona for the winter months but I wasn't sure I'd be able to make it there before the really cold weather settled in. A bizarre string of events happened to see me to North Carolina. I'd spent a little time there but when the weather turned really cold so close to the Atlantic, I decided maybe it would be better if I headed farther south.

I'd caught a ride with a pair of "rubber tramps" named Amelia and Tray. They were a nice couple and obviously head over heels for one another. Amelia looked like a gypsy with her flowing skirts and bohemian peasant tops. She always wore flip-flops, no matter how cold it was outside. She had a nice smile and a friendly persona. She was easy to talk to and as blunt as the day was long. She was from New Orleans and had a similar background to me. Tray grew up in a military family and was used to moving around. He was a very large man, which is saying something considering I'm a pretty big guy myself.

I traveled with them until we reached Atlanta. We camped out for a bit in a state park outside of the city. It was nice to enjoy nature and just feel free. I felt weightless. I didn't think much about my parents, though I did drop Pam a line every chance I got. Amelia and Tray were heading north, which was the last direction I wanted go. The colder it got, the more I was thinking heading west was probably a good idea.

So that's how I ended up jumping a freight train going that direction. I jumped the train just short of the next yard. I'd heard a few stories about guys who got caught in the cars and I had no desire to get the same treatment they did. So, I jumped from a moving train and rolled down an embankment into a marsh that left me covered in muck and insect bites that itched like nobody's business.

I'd had little choice but to swim through the water until I found dry land. I felt snakes slithering around me the whole time and I kept myself alert for alligators and crocodiles. I had no desire to be something's next meal. Eventually I came up to a little dock where the water was much clearer. Picnic tables suggested people frequented the area and I breathed a sigh of relief when I smelled food not too far away. My sense of smell was much keener without the pollutants of big cities clogging me up.

I hauled myself out of the water and brushed off all the debris that had attached itself to me during my unintentional tour of the swamp. I pulled a picnic table into the sun and pulled off my shirt. I hung it from a tree branch along with my jeans so they could dry. I stretched out on the table in my boxers and just let the sun work its magic. The warmth spread through my body and it wasn't long before the cool breeze blowing up in the early Louisiana winter started to feel good instead of like a punishment.

I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew, I was being tapped awake by small, warm fingers. "Mister?"

My eyes fluttered open at the sound of the sweet southern drawl. Standing over me was an angel. I started to wonder if maybe I'd died of frostbite. It was decidedly colder outside. The sun was gone and I was shivering.

"What in Jesus' name are you doing out here in your skivvy's in November?" The woman, my angel, looked concerned. She held out a green wool blanket to me and when I didn't take it, she spread it over my shoulders.

"I fell in the swamp earlier. I was letting myself dry off. I must have fallen asleep." I didn't really know where I was so I looked around in search of a clue.

"You fell in the swamp?" Her eyes were wide. "You're a lucky fella. Usually the snakes'll getcha in there."

"I'm a good swimmer." I shrugged as if that explained everything.

"Not as good as a water moccasin, I'll bet." She gave me the once over, trying to decide if she believed my story. "You got a name? I don't recognize you."

"Eric." I wouldn't give her any more than that.

"Eric, huh?" She caught sight of my tattoo, two blood red tear drops on my chest right over my heart. "Well, Eric, I'm Sookie. Nice to meet you." She held out her warm little hand again and I took it.

"Likewise, Sookie."

"So, were you fixing to sleep here for the night?" She was perceptive, I'll give her that. She was also taking a big chance talking to a man in his underwear in a dark place with no one else around.

"I was thinking about it." I hadn't thought about it but she didn't need to know that.

"Well, if you're in need of somewhere to stay for the night, I know someone who has a spare room you could use. People around these parts don't really take too kindly to visitors, especially if they're creeping in the woods late at night." Sookie, my angel, explained to me.

"I see." I stood up and watched her expression change.

The beautiful angel who had saved me from death by frostbite had maintained a prim smile on her face and a politeness to her eyes. When I stood up, however, she got a better look at me. She bit her lower lip in a subtle way and her cheeks flushed. I was about a foot taller than her. Our hair was the same shade of blond. Her eyes were blue, but deeper than mine, which were more sky blue than ocean blue. I was lean and muscular where she was soft and curvy. We contradicted one another nicely. She was dressed in a pair of black pants that hugged her hips just as well as her white long sleeved t-shirt hugged her ample breasts. Damn. I restrained myself from licking my lips. She was gorgeous.

I went to gather my clothes but noticed they were gone. "Shit." I muttered and looked around.

"If you're looking for your clothes, I took them." She confessed.

"Why?"

"They were filthy, for starters." It was then that I noticed she was carrying a bag with her. "I'm not sure if these are the right size. I didn't realize you were so tall, but I think these should at least get you through until your stuff is clean."

Sookie handed me a pair of jeans I already knew would be a little too short for me, but it would be better than nothing. She followed that up with a white t-shirt and an LSU sweatshirt. I dressed quickly and thanked her.

"Think nothing of it." She smiled at me. My heart lurched. "So, Eric, you hungry?"

"I could eat." That was an understatement. I tried to remember the last meal I'd eaten. I'd been getting by mostly on fruit and canned goods that I ate cold. They traveled well and since they were precooked, I didn't really need to worry about keeping them refrigerated. Gourmet meals they weren't, but I eat to live, not live to eat.

"Follow me." She took my hand and pulled me along behind her.

I paid closer attention to the sway of her hips than I should have. She swung seductively back and forth as she walked. Her small thumb stroking back and forth across my fingers as we walked. Her hair bounced in the moonlight as she expertly guided us through the woods. Then the smell of the food I'd caught earlier hit me full force. I was suddenly starving.

"You own this place, or something?" I looked at the name on the building. It was the same name as what was printed over her left breast.

"Nope, I'm just a barmaid." She gave me another smile and I scrambled to open the door for her. "Thank you, Eric." She patted my chest like a teacher might pat the head of a well behaved student.

I gave her a goofy grin and followed her inside the bar. She pointed out a booth for me to take a seat in. She went behind the bar where she was immediately cornered by a man maybe two inches taller than her. His skin was ruddy and he had strawberry blond hair. A scruffy beard had started to grow in. Granted, it wasn't my place to judge, but I didn't much care for the grip he had on Sookie's arm. A few words were exchanged and then Sookie's cheerful smile faded to an expression of indignance. Apparently she didn't care for what he was saying any more than he cared for what she was saying.

The exchange ended abruptly with Sookie filling a glass of water and bringing it over to my table. "Sorry about that. Sam's just real protective."

"He your boyfriend?" I had to ask. He was staring at us from behind the bar and shaking his head slowly from side to side. Sookie followed my eyes and made a gesture at Sam to knock it off. I couldn't hear it but it looked like Sam growled and then went back to work.

"No, Sam and I are just friends. This is his bar." Sookie explained to me.

"Nice place." Compared to the places I'd been further north, Merlotte's was a dump, but I imagined it was probably one of the classier places in small town Louisiana.

Sookie offered me another smile and I offered one in return. "So, did you take a look at the menu?" She pointed to the laminated sheet tucked behind the collection of hot sauce bottles that adorned each table.

"No, I didn't." I didn't really know how to explain that I was strapped for cash at the moment.

"Well, why don't you give it a once over and I'll come back and check on you in a few minutes. In the meantime, can I get you something else to drink?"

"No, water's just fine, thank you." A beer would have probably had me drunk. I hadn't done much drinking in college and given how lean I'd become, I was sure it wouldn't take much to have me feeling light headed.

"Alright, well, I'll be back." Sookie patted my shoulder and went about checking on her tables.

While I knew the food being served was more likely to cause a heart attack than anything else, it smelled too good to pass up. The menu wasn't very big, but there wasn't a single thing on it I wouldn't inhale if given the chance. When she came back a little while later with a tray balanced on her hip and a pad ready to write down my order, I had to face the music.

"Look, Sookie, I appreciate the clothes and getting me in out of the cold." I wanted to get that out of the way first.

"It's no trouble, Eric." There was no pity in her eyes, just kindness.

"All the same, I don't really have-"

"You can pay me back." She finished for me with a straight face. I was glad she didn't smile at me or try to do something reassuring. When I hesitated to give my order she said, "I'll even charge you interest."

When she cracked a smile, I couldn't help but do the same. "Interest, huh? That could get pretty expensive."

"Yep, and the longer you wait to put in your order, the higher the percentage will be, so you better make up your mind." She was biting her cheeks to restrain a laugh. It was adorable.

"What would you recommend?" I watched her closely while she thought it over. She went from biting her cheeks to sucking one of them as she thought. "How about you surprise me? I'm not very picky."

She grinned at that and then said, "You got it. You're a meat eater, right?"

"When I get the chance." I smiled at her.

"Alright then." She nodded as if she'd made a decision and then walked away.

I sat quietly, just taking it all in. I was being watched by various patrons of the bar. I was used to people sizing me up like I was either on a scam or casing a place. Truthfully, if Sookie hadn't found me down by the pond I never would have known the bar was even there. I also probably would have frozen to death.

It wasn't long before she came over with a basket full of fried goodies that would have me up and going for a run as soon as it was light outside. There was a small mountain of food in front of me. Buffalo wings, chicken tenders, onion rings, french fries, a couple of mini-burgers and something she called fried pickles.

"Fried pickles?" I quirked up an eyebrow.

"Don't judge, they're delicious." Sookie nudged me playfully. "Try one. If you don't like it, well, I'll promise not to hold it against you."

I picked up one of the greasy disks and took a cautionary bite. Before I could stop it, my eyes closed in delight. "Amazing."

"I know." She winked when I opened my eyes. "You need anything else?"

"No, I think I'm more than set."

"Enjoy your dinner." Sookie rubbed my shoulder and then took off again.

I wasn't quite sure of where to begin with all that was waiting for me. I took my time, jumping from one food to the next. Sookie stopped to check on me once or twice, bringing me more water each time she came. The bar was busy and after a while it seemed like no one really noticed me anymore. I just kept quiet. That all changed when a guy about a foot shorter than me with dark hair and eyes walked in.

He was about as pale as any person could possibly be without being an actual corpse. There was no life in his eyes, in spite of this shit eating grin her was sporting. He wore Dockers, a Henley and designer shoes. What the hell was a guy like him doing in a place like Merlotte's? I realized I didn't quite fit in, but this guy stuck out like a sore thumb. People started up with the excited whispering of speculation once again. He was scanning the crowd in search of someone. When his eyes landed on Sookie, his eyes changed. There was something predatory in them that made me want to vault myself up and get in his way. Turns out Sookie wasn't in need of protection.

"Just what the hell do you think you're doing here, Bill Compton? If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times I don't want to see you." Sookie shouted at him.

The patrons in the bar gasped and shook their heads at this, the women all clucking their tongues. I heard a few people near me make comments about Sookie being crazy for sending Bill away. They were saying something about Bill being a catch, and Sookie was lucky he was giving her the time of day, all things considered.

I had no idea what that meant and figured it was none of my business, even if I was curious about it. Bill, however, didn't seem the least bit shaken up by Sookie admonishment. If anything, it seemed to add fuel to his fire.

"Awww come on now, Sookie, don't be like that." He chided her playfully. Clearly he wasn't taking the hint.

"Don't be like what? Honest?" Sookie gawked at him. I liked her fire. "You listen here, mister, I've had about enough of you. You've asked me twenty different ways to marry you, and I've given you twenty different answers. The fact that none of them have been yes should be enough of a reason for you to give up." She poked him hard on his chest. When he opened his mouth to argue with her, she continued, "And don't you think I'm playing hard to get, either. So right here, in front of God and just about every resident of Bon Temps I'm going to tell you this one last time: I don't want to marry you. I will not marry you. I don't want you. I don't want your money. I don't want you coming around here when I'm working. I don't want you watching my house from the woods. I don't want you leaving me flowers on my porch. I don't want you mowing my lawn. I don't want you washing or waxing my car. I don't want anything from you. I don't want to see you. I don't want you to call me. I want you to leave me alone. Pretend you never knew me. Move on with your life and find someone else, Bill, because it's never going to happen for us. You got me?"

She laid into him pretty good and I have to say, she was about as thorough as a girl could be. If he failed to get the hint now, he was asking for trouble from any one of the men in her life. I heard mutterings about Sookie being crazy again but it seemed to me she was being reasonable. If she'd told this guy more than once she didn't want him around, that should be reason enough for him to stay away. I couldn't help but watch to see what he would do in response.

"You having a rough night, sugar?" He asked sympathetically and I couldn't believe it.

Apparently, Sookie couldn't either, because she just stomped off. Bill tried to follow her, but was stopped by a blond boy who looked an awful lot like Sookie except for his brown eyes. He put his hand on Bill's chest, holding him back from following any further.

"I think it's time you let my sister be." The boy put a little force into his voice.

"She's being unreasonable." Bill all but whined.

"And you're being pathetic. You could have any girl in this town. Maybe that's your problem." The boy folded his arms over his chest and planted his feet. "I think it's time you let my sister alone."

Bill tried to advance again, but the boy's hand was right back on Bill's chest. The boy's eyes narrowed, the expression on his face hardening some to show he meant business. Bill, a grown man, hissed like a pissed off teenage girl before turning around and walking out of the bar. It had been a while since I'd seen a grown man have a tantrum, and I'd seen more than my fair share growing up in the type of family I had. It was still just as ridiculous as it had ever been.

Sookie appeared a while later to check on her tables but her cheerful disposition was rattled. She stopped at my booth with a new glass of water she held in a shaky hand. Before I could stop myself I reached out and touched her wrist. Her eyes immediately went to mine and she drew in a sharp breath.

"Are you okay?" I asked as she set the water down.

"I'm sorry you had to see that." She slapped up a smile that looked anything but genuine. "He does that sometimes."

"Seems to me you aren't the one who should be apologizing, if you don't mind me saying so." I spoke quietly. Her smile faltered and she put her free hand on mine, which was still on her wrist.

"You're sweet." To my surprised she leaned over and kissed my cheek.

I scoffed at that and tried to count how many people I had once known who would refer to me in a such a manner. There were a lot of words people would use to describe me, but I don't think even Pam would pick that one. I squeezed her wrist in thanks. I didn't want to let her go. I wanted to pull her into the booth next to me so she could tell me everything from start to finish. We all have a story to tell, something that shapes our lives in ways we aren't really prepared for. I wondered just where this Bill character fit in _her_ story.

"Listen, I'll be done here in about an hour. If you think you can wait that long I can take you to where that spare room is?" Sookie offered, her hand moving just a little over the top of my own.

I had to restrain from laughing. I didn't even know where I was in Louisiana, much less which direction I should be headed in. Sookie's eyes were so warm and inviting. There was so much kindness there. I had never met anyone with eyes like hers before.

"I think I've got time." I smiled at her.

"Good. Then I'll come fetch you when I'm done." She patted my hand and then she was gone again.

A little more than an hour later Sookie came by my table to escort me out. She led me from the bar toward a little yellow car I wasn't sure I would be able to fold myself into. She gave me a sympathetic look before ducking into the driver's side. Being that I'm from the northeast, I know a cold winter a little more intimately than I'd like. Sookie was shivering fiercely while I was waiting for the same cold wind that must have slapped her to take a shot at me. Nothing happened.

Her little car sputtered to life. I heard the rush of the heater start. "I don't know why I bother. I'll be home before it gets warm." Sookie was muttering as I got into the car.

I'm not entirely sure how I managed to do it, but I eventually found myself in the front seat of her car. She drove carefully, obeying all traffic laws and posted speed limits. I was never all that cautious when I drove. But then if I had been pulled over, a glance at my driver's license would have told the cop just how connected I was. I would have been let off with a warning. It had happened repeatedly, even when I suggested I be issued a citation for my recklessness.

Just as Sookie said, her car was no closer to being warm by the time we reached our destination. She came to a stop around back of an old farmhouse. The roof was tin, if you can believe it, and I found myself wishing it were raining so I could hear the pinging of falling water as I drifted off to sleep. The house was dark, making me wonder if it was a good idea to wake the residents within just so I could crash in some empty room.

"I don't want to wake anyone." I looked over at Sookie.

"You won't." She winked at me and got out of the car.

She went to her trunk and pulled a plastic bag from it that seemed to contain my clothes. I wondered when she'd put them in there, since she hadn't when we left the bar. She crooked a finger in gesture for me to follow her up the back steps to the house. I walked as quietly as I could so I wouldn't snap a twig or trip over a root and wake whoever was inside. I had no desire to be a burden to anyone.

"Come on." She nodded toward the house, urging me to follow her.

I looked around and thought I saw a face in the woods. I squinted, somehow thinking I would have magic zoom lenses in my eyes that would make the face clearer. Sookie cleared her throat and I turned to see she was standing in the kitchen with the lights on. She waved me inside.

"You're letting the heat out." Her voice was amused.

"Sorry." I walked into the house and closed the door behind me.

"Take off your shoes." She instructed while unzipping her coat and slinging it over the back of a chair.

"So, whose house is this that you can just walk in whenever you want and offer rooms to strangers?" I untied my boots and pulled them off, leaving them on a mat near the door.

"Mine, of course." Sookie looked at me like I had two heads.

"Yours?" I looked around a little and noticed a picture of her on the refrigerator with the blond boy from the bar who had said he was her brother. "That's your brother?" I pointed to the picture.

"Yep, that's Jason." Sookie handed me the picture. "He's three years older than me."

"Does he live here, too?"

Sookie giggled a bit before answering. "I love my brother, but if we lived together, we'd kill each other."

"I'm an only child." I offered.

"That's a shame." Sookie put the picture back on the fridge. "Jason and I have our quarrels but he's always got my back every bit as much as I've got his. It's good to have someone you can always count on to be in your corner when you feel alone in the world."

I thought of Pam for a split second. She was the closest I'd ever come to having a sibling. If anyone in the world knew me better than I knew myself, it would be her. I wondered what she was doing up in New York right that second and wished I could call her. It was nice to hear her voice from time to time. She always reminded me I was doing the right thing, even though she didn't really say anything at all on the subject.

"Is there someone you need to call?" Sookie had me wondering if she was a mind reader for just a second.

I realized I was staring at her phone. I hadn't even noticed I was looking at it. "Oh, uh, no, no one I need to call."

"How about a shower?" Sookie offered me.

"That'd be nice." Hot water. Uninterrupted. Quiet. Clean sheets. Heaven.

Sookie led me down a hall and stopped abruptly at a door on the left hand side. She reached into the room and flicked a switch. The bathtub looked about as old as the house itself. A white shower curtain hung from plastic rings. Sookie squeezed past me to a closet at the end of the hall. She brought back two towels for me.

"Just make sure you don't run the sink at the same time, or you'll mess with the water temperature." She warned. "And it'll take a few minutes for the water heater to catch up with you, so just be patient. Do you need a hair dryer? Oh, I have a spare toothbrush!" Sookie went to the closet again and brought me a sea foam green toothbrush still in its package.

"Thanks." I smiled at her.

"Sure thing. Well, I'll leave you to it." She patted my arm and then disappeared into another room. She closed the door behind her for a moment before peeking her head out again. "I'm just going to change clothes real quick. I should be in the kitchen when you're through."

I nodded and then went into the bathroom. I closed the door behind me and started the water for the first shower I'd be taking in a _house_ in more than a year. She wasn't kidding when she said it took the water heater time to kick in but I didn't mind the wait. It would be more than worth it, I was sure. I was just about to step into the shower when I realized there wasn't any shampoo in there.

I wrapped a towel around my waist and opened the bathroom door at the same time Sookie opened hers. We both froze. She was standing there in her underwear. Rather than averting our eyes, we just stared at one another. She looked dangerously good standing there just a few feet away from me. She was wearing a lacy white bra and matching boy shorts. My heart skipped a beat. I hadn't realized how tan she was before. The fact that I was only wearing a towel didn't seem to be escaping her attention, though it seemed no one had made mention of it to my little friend who was anxious to reach out and say hello to her.

I cleared my throat at the same time she shook her head. "I'm sorry." We said at the same time and then giggled like a couple of junior high school students.

"I was just-" We started again and both of us laughed.

Sookie held up a hand to stop me from speaking. "You first."

"There's no shampoo." I offered with a hint of embarrassment.

"Right." Sookie slapped her palm against her forehead and then retreated into her room again. She came back a moment later with two bottles in her hands. "Here you go. Hope you don't mind smelling like cinnamon."

Was she kidding? I'd been reeking of swamp for the last few hours. "Not at all. Thank you, Sookie."

She blushed and stared down at her feet. "Enjoy your shower."

"I will, I'm sure." I stepped back into the bathroom and set the bottles on the shelf that was suction cupped to the wall. I pulled off the towel and stepped behind the curtain into the tub.

The hot water felt even better than I remembered. I was a little too tall and had to bend down in order to wash my hair, but it was no big sacrifice. It was nice to appreciate the little things I had always taken for granted before. There was such simplistic beauty in the world. It was too easy to become jaded and not see the little miracles that surrounded us every day.

When I closed my eyes, all I saw was a nearly naked Sookie standing in her hallway with that beautiful blush painting her cheeks, neck and chest. She was an exquisite woman. No wonder that Bill guy was so reluctant to halt his pursuit of her. I took my time washing up before getting out of the shower and toweling myself off. I dressed myself in my now clean clothes.

They smelled clean for a change. If I wasn't careful, I'd get used to this. It struck me how I might not mind if it meant staying with Sookie, but that was crazy. I didn't know anything about this woman. She was a total stranger. I had to wonder about her mental health if she would just take in a stranger like me, no questions asked. I was laying on a picnic table in my underwear when she found me, for crying out loud. It certainly wasn't the smartest thing to do.

I found Sookie in the kitchen as she promised I would. She was sitting at an old, beat up table with two steaming cups of something and two pieces of pie cut from a dish set between the plates. She smiled when she saw me. Her whole face lit up when she smiled. She was the prettiest girl I'd seen in a long time.

"Feel better now, Eric?" She gestured for me to sit.

"Much. Thank you." I sat in the empty chair.

"Do you like pecan pie?" She dug into her piece.

"I do." I picked up my fork.

"It's my Gran's recipe. I don't make it as good as she did, but it's not bad." She gave herself a little pat on the back and took another bite of her pie.

I took my first bite and my eyes rolled into the back of my head. "Sookie, this is delicious."

"Thank you." She blushed again and sipped from her mug. "Do you drink coffee?"

"Only black."

She smiled again and said, "Me too. It loses its purpose if you dilute it with sugar and cream."

A diehard. I liked her. I liked her more than I should.

"So, can I ask you something?" She set down her fork.

"Only if I can ask you something in return."

"That's fair." She nodded, then took another sip of her coffee. "How did you end up almost naked at the swamp?"

I smiled, took another bite of my pie and started talking. She listened with warm eyes and an understanding smile. She held back any comments or judgments. She just listened. She was easy to talk to. She nodded at all the right times and smiled when it was appropriate. The words left me easily. It was nice to share my story with someone else. The only person I'd ever really let in was Pam.

"I probably sound like I'm whining, don't I?" I asked her when I was done.

"No, not at all." She took another bite of her pie. "Money doesn't solve everything. Sometimes I think it causes more problems than it solves."

She understood where I was coming from. Most people didn't. Sookie wasn't like anyone else I had come across in a long time. A very, very long time.

"I think you're right about that." I smiled at her. She didn't blush, but she smiled at her pie before taking another bite. "So, since this is a quid pro quo operation, why don't you tell me what the deal is with you and that Billy guy?"

She laughed quietly and said, "I knew you were going to ask me that."

I kept on smiling at her and waited for her to tell her story. She set down her fork again before going to get the coffee pot. She refilled her mug, then mine without asking if I wanted more. She set the pot down on the table and took her seat.

"I grew up here in this house. My parents died when I was a little girl, so my Gran raised Jason and me. Sounds to me like you and I grew up in completely opposite ways. You had a family rich in money, but not very rich in love. It was the opposite for me. There was always more love to go around than money. We did okay, though. We made it just fine on what we had, and I think it's because there was never really enough to spoil us, we appreciated it a lot more when it happened.

"My Gran raised us to work hard for everything we have. So while I may not have much, I own it all outright. I've worked for the things I have, and I'm proud of myself for not getting myself hitched up just so I could live a more comfortable life. I would rather be happy alone than miserable with company.

"I'm telling you all that because it sounds to me like Bill is the the kind of person you would have become if you had done the things your parents wanted you to do. You would have ended up in a loveless marriage with a crop of kids you had just to appease them, and not because raising a family is what you really wanted. Bill thinks I'm just playing hard to get by turning him down, but I'm not interested in being a cog in the Compton machine.

"His family comes from money. His house is just across the cemetery. It's a beautiful home, restored perfectly to its former glory. That house has four fireplaces. Yet for all the warmth in that house, it might as well be a museum. There's nothing homey about that house. It doesn't feel lived in at all. It's like a shrine to the way things were. Now maybe that's because Bill lives there alone. Maybe he'd be different if he were my husband, but it's a gamble I'm not willing to make.

"I won't just go signing my life away because everyone else thinks I'm crazy not to. I'm an independent woman. I don't need anyone to take care of me. I've been doing just fine here by myself. I think Bill thinks I want to be rescued. He couldn't be more wrong. I'm no damsel in distress. His heart might be in the right place, but it's not in anyplace I can find it. So that's why I won't marry him, in spite of him asking me just about every chance he gets. He'll just never understand my side the same I don't think I'll ever understand his." Sookie took a drink of her coffee.

I stared at her in amazement. When her eyes met mine, something clicked in my head. Could it be she was what I was really looking for on this trip?

"You're an amazing person, Sookie." I sipped my coffee.

"I'm just a barmaid." She waved me off.

"No, you're not. Anyone who was 'just a barmaid' would probably jump at the chance to live a much easier life, and she probably wouldn't take in a stranger."

"Are you complimenting my generosity or insulting my intelligence?" Sookie smirked at me.

"Maybe a little bit of both?" I suggested with a smile.

She grinned broadly. "You're honest. I like that."

"I have no reason to lie. If you threw me out, it wouldn't be the first night I slept outside."

Her smile faded and a hint of sadness clouded her pretty blue eyes. "Do you ever get lonely being all by yourself?"

"Doesn't everyone?" I arched an eyebrow at her.

"Yeah, I suppose." She smiled again and leaned forward in her chair. "I guess what I mean is, does it ever feel...I don't know, weightless being out there? Like there aren't any tethers to anything? Don't you miss anyone?"

"Just Pam. The rest of it was nothing to me."

"I couldn't imagine doing what you're doing. I don't think I could just walk away from everything like you did."

"If you were unhappy enough, I think you could."

"Maybe." She sat back again. She looked around for a moment, biting her cheek before asking, "How long will you stay here in Louisiana before you go on to the next place?"

"I don't know." I shrugged. "I guess it depends on what my gut tells me to do."

"Is that how it works? Your gut tells you it's time to move on, and that's what you do?"

I nodded. "Sounds pretty crazy, doesn't it?"

"No." She picked up our plates and took them to the sink so her back was to me. "Do you think you'll ever find a place that feels enough like home that you might stay?"

The way she said it struck another chord in me. _I could stay here_, I thought to myself. "It would take a really special place for that to happen."

She rinsed the dishes, then turned to face me. "Well, you're welcome to stay here as long as you want."

_What if I never leave?_

"That's a pretty bold offer, Sookie."

"I'm a pretty bold woman." She smiled, then yawned loudly. "I'm also a pretty tired woman. Let me show you where you'll be sleeping."

I followed her toward the bathroom again and she opened the door next to it. A full size bed was under the windows. The furniture was painted white, and chipping with age. There were yellow butterflies on the walls. Definitely not the most masculine of rooms, but I was in no position to complain.

"I'd put you up in Jason's old room but it's not very warm up there. Besides, you'll be right next to the bathroom if you need it. There's movies in the living room if you want to watch. I've only got basic cable since I don't watch a whole lot of TV, but you're welcome to it if you aren't tired just yet. My room," She turned toward the room she'd come out of before. "Is right there across the hall. If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask."

"Thank you, Sookie." I smiled at her.

"You're welcome, Eric. Sleep well." She smiled, then turned to go. She spun back just as quickly. "Eric?"

"Yeah?"

"Um, if you decide to leave will you wake me up and say goodbye?"

"Sure." I nodded.

She smiled sadly, then went across the hall to her bedroom. She waved at me, then closed the door, leaving me to myself.

**Six Months Later...**

"Happy birthday, dear Sookie. Happy birthday to you!" All of us chorused to a blushing Sookie as her birthday cake was set down in front of her.

She grinned and then blew out all twenty-five candles on her cake. There were cheers and applause while she reached over to hug her brother, then her best friend, Tara. She scurried around the table to hug me as well. The surprise party had been my doing. I'd been staying with Sookie for a little over six months. I figured a birthday party was the least I could do, considering all she'd done for me. Hell, she probably saved my life the night she found me.

It was hard to believe six months had passed already. Even crazier, I felt like maybe, just maybe, I was home. I fit into the small town I had learned was called Bon Temps. I even ended up with a job at Merlotte's tending bar. It was an easy life. Sookie had become my best friend in the last six months. Hell, she was the first genuine friend I ever had. There was nothing presuming about her and she didn't dwell on my past. I could be myself around her.

We were comfortable living together. Her friends and brother had thought she was a bit nutty at first. It was great that she had people in her life who cared about her. It took some time, and a lot of insisting from Sookie, before they trusted me enough to let me into their inner circle. I was a part of something for the first time in my life that had nothing to do with credit reports, alma maters, bloodlines or social connections. I was accepted on my own merit. It felt good.

Sookie kissed my cheek and said, "Thank you for this."

"You're welcome." I kissed her forehead.

That was about as close as we ever got. There was some sexual tension between us. It was summer and Sookie was a sun worshiper. No matter how late we got home from work, she was always up early enough to catch the best rays of the day. I would often wake up to find her in the yard, sprawled out on her chaise lounge in a skimpy bikini. It took a lot of self-control not to maul her sometimes. I hadn't slept with a woman since just after college. That was more than two years ago.

I watched Sookie cut the cake and pass out slices to everyone in the room. The cake had been made by Maxine Fortenberry, who had insisted on doing something to help out, even if she wasn't attending the party herself. She was a gossip but she meant well. Unfortunately, Sookie couldn't stand her. I didn't think she was so bad, but I didn't have twenty-something years of experience dealing with her either.

Lafayette cranked up the music after we were done with the cake, and a dance party broke out. I hung back at first, just watching Sookie enjoy herself. I cleaned up some of the plates and cups so there would be less to do later. Eventually, Sookie found me in the kitchen and dragged me out to the living room.

"We'll clean up tomorrow." She winked at me, then proceeded to wiggle against me.

We danced for a while, everyone laughing and just having fun. It wasn't a very big party, but there were enough of us to get rather rowdy. Sookie was in the process of getting a lapdance from Lafayette when I noticed Bill outside. I tapped Jason on the shoulder and nodded toward the window.

"Motherfucker." He muttered under his breath.

Bill had kept his distance from Sookie since I'd started staying with her. It was public knowledge Sookie and I weren't a couple. We lived together but we were just friends. Sure, we flirted with each other sometimes, but that's just a natural thing. She's a gorgeous woman and more than once she told me she thought I was good looking. Well, the first time I walked out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around my waist her jaw had dropped. I heard her mumble something about me being hot enough to fry an egg on. She'd die if she knew I heard that.

I moved to go take care of it, but Jason grabbed my shoulder. "I got this, man."

I nodded and held out my fist to him to bump. I'd have Jason's back in a heartbeat if things got hairy outside and he knew it. I tried not to be too obvious about watching out the window, but Sookie caught on to the fact that I was distracted. When she saw what I was looking at, she grumbled under her breath.

"Goddamn it! Why can't he just leave me the hell alone?" She shook her head.

"Jason's got it, Sookie. He'll go away."

"For how long?" She snorted.

"Forget he's even there, okay? Don't let him ruin your birthday." I put an arm around her.

"Dance with me." She looked up at me with big, pouty eyes.

"Sure." I smiled down at her.

She took my hand and pulled me away from the window and lead me back toward the center of the room. The music changed from something with a more booming beat I couldn't place to a slow country song I'd heard a thousand times since the night I met Sookie. I never gave it much thought before, but now the words were slapping me in the face.

_How can I bear to wake up and you're not there? What will I do when I turn and reach for you? I'll lay my tears on the windowsill. I'll only cry till I get over you._

I knew I wasn't going to be able to stay forever. As much as I liked being with Sookie, this wasn't right. I was going to have to move on at some point. I'd see her looking at couples at the bar, or while we were walking down the street together in town. I could see the longing in her eyes to have someone to share her life with like that. I knew she wanted to get married and have kids. As long as I stayed with her, that wasn't going to happen.

She was the best thing to happen to me in a long time. I didn't want to repay her by holding her back from having the things she wanted. Still, I can't deny that when I wrapped my arms around her to dance, she felt right there. I smelled the sweetness of her shampoo and perfume. I wondered how long I would be able to recall those smells at will after I was gone.

_Will I ever smile again when loosing love takes my best friend? To wonder where, wonder how, wonder what you're doing?_

There was a heaviness in my chest when I thought about not being with her anymore. The pleading of the song got to me. In my mind I could see Sookie with all those words on the tip of her tongue to say to me, but she wouldn't. She wouldn't ask me to stay because she had known from the start this wasn't forever. She was stronger than that.

I wasn't. I let her go and walked away from her. "Eric?" She called out after me, but I didn't stop walking.

I closed myself in my room and flopped back on my bed. It was too hard. I wasn't supposed to get attached to her. I should have known this was going to happen. The second I realized I _was_ attached, I should have pulled the plug and moved on. Instead, I further embedded myself in her life. I was a glutton for punishment. I had to be. Even Pam told me I was making a mistake. I had insisted it was cool, there was nothing to worry about. Sookie and I were just friends.

It dawned on me, as I lay there, that we had never been just friends. I don't know when it happened, but I had fallen in love with her. It was so natural I didn't even notice it. Falling in love with her definitely wasn't part of the plan. What a cluster fuck.

The house got quiet. I heard the starting of various cars and trucks outside, then the fading sounds of them driving away from the house. Seconds later there was the slamming of Sookie's bedroom door across the hall. I felt like an ass. I sat up and forced myself to go across the hall to talk to her.

I knocked on her door and waited for her to say something. I heard her moving around in the room, but she didn't answer me. "Sookie?" I called out.

"Go away, Eric!" She shouted back.

"Will you please open the door so I can talk to you?"

"No! Go away!" She shouted.

I slumped against the door in defeat for exactly three seconds before I decided I wasn't going to let her push me away. I popped the lock on her door and let myself in. She was standing there in one of her tiny nightgowns, looking as delectable as ever.

"Excuse you!"

"We need to talk."

"No, I don't think we do. I'm going to bed, Eric. I'll clean up in the morning." Sookie yanked back the covers on her bed.

"I walked away because I care too much, Sookie." I confessed to her in a calmer tone. She froze. "It wasn't supposed to happen. I wasn't supposed to love you."

"Yeah, well, I wasn't supposed to love you either." She turned to face me, a solitary tear running down her cheek. "Feel better now, Eric?"

Those words. They were the first she'd said to me after my shower the first night in her house. Of course, now they were far more bitter than they'd been then. Still, they triggered something in me and I snapped. I crossed the room and grabbed her face roughly to kiss her. Her response was instant.

Her lips were soft and somehow still tasted like the cake she'd had earlier. Her fingers tangled in my hair, holding me close to her. I licked her lips and they parted for me immediately. My tongue slid against hers. There was no battling for dominance. It was slow and sweet the way we explored each other. I pulled the elastic from her hair, letting it tumble down her back in soft waves of gold.

We fell back on her bed and kept on kissing until it wasn't enough anymore. My shirt was the first article of clothing to go, but it wasn't the last. I quickly discovered just how beautiful her breasts were. Even my overactive imagination hadn't done them justice. I tasted a hint of salt on her skin, but she mostly tasted sweet. I listened for every noise she made, wanting to preserve it all in my memory.

I wanted her way more than I should, but I force myself to keep it slow. I moved down her body and hooked my fingers into the sides of her panties. My eyes found hers and she nodded. I peeled them off of her and sent them flying across the room. She was beyond beautiful from head to toe. I kissed my way up her leg until I reached her center. Her arousal glistened, beckoning me in the dim moonlight filtering in through her windows.

I lowered my head and kissed her thighs until she began to squirm a bit. I licked up her slit, making her shudder. I closed my eyes and savored the taste of her on my tongue. My thumbs spread her open and I kissed her in places I could only imagine until that moment.

Her fingers tangled in my hair again, tugging gently to direct me where to go. My lips closed around her clit and I hummed softly. The vibrations elicited a moan from her. I slid a finger inside her and began a slow rhythm that countered the flicks of my tongue against her clit. When I added a second finger, I released her clit to watch her face. Her moans got louder and her head thrashed from side to side. My fingers curled inside her in search of her sweet spot.

I knew I found it when her hips rocketed off the bed and she screamed my name. The confines of my boxers were starting to become extremely uncomfortable, but I didn't want this to be about me. She gasped and panted as her already tight walls began to contract around my fingers. The sensation went to my dick, and never in my life did I want more to be inside of a woman than I did her right in that moment.

"Look at me, Sookie." I dipped my head down again when her eyes found mine.

I latched onto her clit and increased the thrusting of my fingers. It was a beautiful thing to watch her come undone. Everything about her in those moments was perfection. When she went limp, I wanted to start all over again, but she had other ideas. She pulled me up by my face and kissed me hard. My fingers resumed their thrusting inside her and her hips rose to meet them.

"Sookie, I need to be inside you." I said against her lips. "If you want to stop-"

"No!" She said quickly and wrapped her legs around me. "No, I want that, too."

"I don't have protection." I realized, slightly dumbfounded I had even forgotten about it.

"It's okay." She nibbled her bottom lip. "Eric, I can't have kids, so unless you've got something-"

"I'm clean. I haven't had sex in over two years."

Her eyes bugged out a little. "No way."

"Way. You'll be my first in a very long time."

"Then I think you waited long enough." She kissed me again and began to push my boxers down.

Her small hand wrapped around my cock and her eyes widened. She looked down between us and I heard an audible gulp. I kicked my boxers off and removed my fingers from her core. She was about as wet as she was going to get. I licked my fingers clean while she guided me to her entrance.

"Are you sure?" It would be torture to stop now, but I would if she wanted me to.

"Yes, I'm sure." She nodded and pulled me closer with her hands on my ass. Just the head of my erection slipped inside her. "Oh, God, don't stop."

I didn't. I advanced slowly. Not only did I not want to hurt her, but I also didn't want to blow my wad like a douche. She was so hot and tight. I fit inside her perfectly. Her eyes never left mine. When I was fully sheathed inside her, I pressed my forehead to hers.

"Are you okay?" I smoothed some of her hair back.

She nodded again, her hand on my face. I pulled back slowly before pushing in again. I went slow at first, but it wasn't long before her hips were raising to meet mine. I surprised her when I grabbed her leg and pulled it up over my shoulder. I went deeper inside her and she screamed.

"Oh, fuck, Eric, faster." She moaned.

I watched her face contort in pleasure and she surprised me when she reached between us to rub her clit. I grabbed the back of her head , forcing her up on her elbows. I shifted so I was on my knees, and thrust into her faster and harder. I cupped one of her breasts with my free hand, and one of hers fisted the sheets. The other settled on my hip.

I was pounding into her, the angle of my thrusts rubbing against her clit as I moved. She cried out repeatedly as her orgasm built. I hadn't intended to be so rough with her but I couldn't stop it, and she didn't seem to want me to. The hand that had been on my hip began to rake my chest. She screamed when she came, nearly taking me over the edge with her, but I didn't want to be done yet. I pulled out of her and flipped her over. I gave her no chance to recover before entering her again from behind.

My height came as an advantage then. I pushed her hands up over her head and laced my fingers with hers while I pounded into her. She moaned for more. Reluctantly, I released her hands and straightened up. My hands drifted down to her hips to hold her in place. I would thrust into her hard and fast for a few seconds before drawing out my strokes, only to speed up again. I repeated the rhythm over and over, effectively keeping her right at the edge.

We were a sweating, panting mess. "I'm so close, Eric." She whined. I knew she was. I wanted to keep her there longer, but I knew I wasn't going to last much longer.

I reached around and rubbed her clit and let go. Her arms gave out when she came yet again, screaming into the mattress. My balls tightened. My cock swelled. I grabbed her hips hard and came with a roar deep inside her. It was easily the best orgasm I'd ever had and it felt like it was never going to end. When it did, I collapsed on top of her.

She whimpered when I pulled out of her a few seconds later. I rolled to the side and wrapped her tightly in my arms. She snuggled against me. Neither of us spoke. She fell asleep a short time later, but I couldn't. I wanted to sink into the darkness of sleep, but I couldn't. I lay awake, holding onto her as she slept. I thought about my options.

I could stay. I could probably have a very good life with her. The sex would be out of this world, and we loved each other. We were friends. Best friends. In my gut, I knew I would never find another woman like her. I would be crazy to leave her.

And yet...yet, I felt that call to go on to the next place. I felt the pull of the road and the rest of the world, telling me there was more for me to see. A little voice in the back of my head told me I wasn't cut out to be anyone's husband. I would only disappoint her.

So which voice should I listen to? If I left now, it would hurt, but the hurt would be less than if I stayed for years, only for things to fall apart. I would be doing her a favor by not dragging her down any deeper, right? The fact that I was even considering leaving after what just happened proved to me that she deserved better.

I waited until the sun began to rise before getting out of bed. I went across the hall to shower and get dressed. I packed up my things. I didn't have much. Just a few changes of clothes and some pictures we had taken that I wanted to bring with me. I wanted proof that someone as beautiful and wonderful as Sookie did exist in the world. I wanted something tangible to remind me she was real, and not just some figment of my imagination.

I thought about slipping out without saying a word, but I couldn't do that to her either. I at least owed her a goodbye. I dropped my bags at the door and put on my shoes. I went back to her bedroom and sat at the edge of her bed. Slowly, I trailed my fingers from her hip up her ribs. She shivered and rolled onto her back.

"Sookie?" I spoke softly, but it was enough to rouse her.

Her eyes opened and she looked at me. Her smile was immediate. "Hi."

I bent down and kissed her sweetly, with every emotion I felt for her. I kissed her until I had to pull away to breathe. There were tears in her eyes. I hated myself.

"You're leaving, aren't you?" Her bottom lip trembled.

"I can't give you what you deserve."

"Stay." She surprised me by saying it. She wasn't asking, either.

"I can't. I wish I could."

"You can."

"I won't." I sighed. "I'll always love you, Sookie. You-"

"Don't. Please don't. If you're going to go, then do it, but I can't watch you walk away." She rolled onto her side.

"I'm sorry." I kissed her shoulder.

"No, you're not. But you will be." She snuggled a pillow, and I wondered if she was pretending it was me instead. "Go."

I got up and took one last look at her from the doorway. She wouldn't look at me. I backed away from her bedroom and headed for the front door. I picked up my bags and walked out of the house, closing the door behind me. I felt something in me break, but I didn't go back inside.

Instead, I started walking. I didn't know where I was going, but I knew no matter where I went, that old farmhouse would always feel like home.

**-FIN-**

**

* * *

**This piece was heavily influenced by "I'll Be Here In the Morning" by Townes Van Zandt, as well as the movie _Into the Wild_. If you haven't seen/heard either of those things, do it. I highly recommend them both. The song Eric and Sookie slow danced to was "Stay" by Little Big Town if you want to hear the whole thing. It's a beautiful song and also helped influence this piece. Thanks for reading and best of luck to everyone who enters the **Happily (N)ever After Contest**!**  
**


	2. Just Might Make Me Believe

When I started writing the first part to this little saga, I really had no intention of continuing it, but **scribeninja** and **chanel addict** were very adamant that I give Drifter!Eric more screen time. Sooo...here is part two of the story. It's looking to be 5, _maybe_ six parts total. I've written 4 of them so far. For those that need a little refresher:

_I could stay. I could probably have a very good life with her. The sex would be out of this world, and we loved each other. We were friends. Best friends. In my gut, I knew I would never find another woman like her. I would be crazy to leave her._

_And yet...yet, I felt that call to go on to the next place. I felt the pull of the road and the rest of the world, telling me there was more for me to see. A little voice in the back of my head told me I wasn't cut out to be anyone's husband. I would only disappoint her._

_So which voice should I listen to? If I left now, it would hurt, but the hurt would be less than if I stayed for years, only for things to fall apart. I would be doing her a favor by not dragging her down any deeper, right? The fact that I was even considering leaving after what just happened proved to me that she deserved better._

_I waited until the sun began to rise before getting out of bed. I went across the hall to shower and get dressed. I packed up my things. I didn't have much. Just a few changes of clothes and some pictures we had taken that I wanted to bring with me. I wanted proof that someone as beautiful and wonderful as Sookie did exist in the world. I wanted something tangible to remind me she was real, and not just some figment of my imagination._

_I thought about slipping out without saying a word, but I couldn't do that to her either. I at least owed her a goodbye. I dropped my bags at the door and put on my shoes. I went back to her bedroom and sat at the edge of her bed. Slowly, I trailed my fingers from her hip up her ribs. She shivered and rolled onto her back._

_"Sookie?" I spoke softly, but it was enough to rouse her._

_Her eyes opened and she looked at me. Her smile was immediate. "Hi."_

_I bent down and kissed her sweetly, with every emotion I felt for her. I kissed her until I had to pull away to breathe. There were tears in her eyes. I hated myself._

_"You're leaving, aren't you?" Her bottom lip trembled._

_"I can't give you what you deserve."_

_"Stay." She surprised me by saying it. She wasn't asking, either._

_"I can't. I wish I could."_

_"You can."_

_"I won't." I sighed. "I'll always love you, Sookie. You-"_

_"Don't. Please don't. If you're going to go, then do it, but I can't watch you walk away." She rolled onto her side._

_"I'm sorry." I kissed her shoulder._

_"No, you're not. But you will be." She snuggled a pillow, and I wondered if she was pretending it was me instead. "Go."_

_I got up and took one last look at her from the doorway. She wouldn't look at me. I backed away from her bedroom and headed for the front door. I picked up my bags and walked out of the house, closing the door behind me. I felt something in me break, but I didn't go back inside._

_Instead, I started walking. I didn't know where I was going, but I knew no matter where I went, that old farmhouse would always feel like home._

And now, part 2 from Sookie's POV

* * *

Just Might Make Me Believe

I sat at the kitchen table with the bills all spread out and a glass of wine in my hand. It had been a long day. I glanced over at the fridge and smiled. Abbie's first school picture smiled back at me. She had a lopsided pumpkin tooth grin at the moment. She'd lost her first tooth two days before the picture was taken. She'd been so excited about her first visit from the tooth fairy.

Her long, thick blonde hair hung down her back in soft waves. Freckles dotted her nose and cheeks. I had no idea where they came from. Her bright blue eyes sparkled, and she had just a hint of a dimple in her left cheek. That dimple reminded me of a face that had been haunting me for years. She was stubborn, funny, friendly and smart. There was wisdom in those blue eyes, like she'd seen more than her share of life, yet she was only four when the picture was taken.

"Mommy?" Her little voice chimed behind me.

I turned in my chair to see her rubbing her eyes in the doorway of the kitchen. "What's wrong, sweet pea?"

Abbie climbed up into my lap and snuggled against me. "I had that dream again."

My heart clenched. I hated it when she had these dreams. She'd been having them since she was three, and old enough to understand who her Daddy was. It hurt like hell when Eric left. It had taken months for me to put myself back together. Abbie had helped a great deal in mending what was broken in me. By having her with me, it was like Eric wasn't really gone.

I saw him in her every day. Like him, she was quiet in the morning. She didn't really come to life until after she had something in her belly. She was taller than most of the kids in her class, especially the girls. Her limbs were long and slender, as was her neck. She felt weightless in my lap as she curled into a ball.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I whispered to her, knowing sometimes she didn't want to talk. Sometimes she just wanted me to snuggle her until she straightened it all out in her own mind.

"Did you love my Daddy?" She asked in a quiet voice.

"Very much." I kissed her head.

"Did he love you?"

"Yes, sweet pea, he did."

"Then why did he leave us?" Not me. Not her. _Us._

I took a deep breath and said, "I honestly don't know, sweet pea. I ask myself all the time why he left."

"Do you miss him?" Abbie looked up at me.

"Every day." I kissed her forehead.

"I hate him," her face crumbled and her sobs started.

This was the part I hated. Trying to explain it all to a five-year-old is next to impossible when I don't fully understand it myself. Honestly, there was a part of me that had known Eric wasn't going to stay forever. There was something about the way he looked at me the one and only night we made love that told me he would go. I could see the goodbye in his eyes. It was why I didn't speak afterward. I'd known the time had come.

He broke my heart, no doubt about it. I'd spent my time grieving the loss. My friends and family had been beyond pissed when they found out I was pregnant after he skipped town. In all fairness to him, it wasn't as if he knocked me up on purpose. I really had been under the impression I couldn't have children. I'd gotten very ill as a child. I'd run a fever of 106 for a week. The fact that my insides hadn't been cooked was nothing short of a miracle.

As a result, though, the doctors told me I would most likely never get pregnant. They put my chances of getting pregnant on my own somewhere in the three percent likelihood. I didn't make it a habit of having unprotected sex, but I couldn't turn Eric away. I had been head over heels in love with him. I'd been lusting after him since the night I found him near the swamp. I'd endured six months of torture. It was selfish of me, but I wanted him. And by the time we established there was no birth control available to us, I _needed_ him.

I wasn't the most experienced girl, but I knew great sex when I had it. Eric changed the standards for what qualified as great sex. I knew I'd be searching for that for the rest of my life and never come close to finding it. I'd hoped that when I woke up, I would realize it was all just a dream. I would start coffee and breakfast and Eric would come out of his room in a pair of boxers to help me cook. We would have our usual morning conversation before going about our day. The sex never happened. He never told me he loved me. I never told him I loved him. We would just be best friends again.

Of course, that didn't happen. He woke me up to say goodbye, just like he promised he would that first night. I couldn't watch him leave because I knew there was a part of me that was willing to walk away from my life if it meant staying with him. I couldn't do that, though. He had his reasons for coming into my life, just like he had his reasons for going. No amount of me screaming at him for being a selfish asshole was going to change his mind. Frankly, I wanted him to stay of his own volition and not because I begged him to.

"Stay." I said it just like that and only once. There had been a flicker of doubt in his eyes, but he quickly pushed it away.

Two months later I learned I was pregnant with Abbie. My reaction was mixed. I was stunned, at first, since I didn't think it was possible. I insisted the doctor run the test again, siting the long history I had of medical professionals telling me I would never get pregnant. Dr. Kemp had obliged me by running the test a second time. The second test came up positive as well. An ultrasound showed there was, in fact, a tiny person growing inside me.

It took a few days and bouts with morning sickness before the reality of it hit me. I was pregnant. There would be a baby. Part of Eric would be coming back to me. The thought both calmed me and riled me at the same time. I missed him constantly. The littlest things would remind me of him. I was still dealing with the fact that he'd left. I was still bitter about his decision to leave. It took a long time and my daughter's first cry to forgive him.

Abbie was the best thing to ever happen to me. Caring for her gave me something else to focus on besides my broken heart. Every day she grew and I learned new things about her. I could tell her cry from every other baby in a room full of them. She was my constant companion. Being a mother had changed my life in ways I never would have imagined.

It wasn't always easy to be a single mother, but I had help. Jason was a great uncle to his niece. He really stepped up and filled the role of a strong male figure in her life. It wasn't the same as having Eric there, but it helped dull the sting a little once Abbie started asking questions. I never lied to her about who her father was. I would tell her anything she wanted to know.

The only answer I couldn't give her was why Eric left.

I sat with her in my lap and rocked her until she fell asleep. I had long ago learned it wasn't worth it to try and talk Abbie out of it when she said she hated Eric. Honestly, I couldn't blame her for it. He was her Daddy, and all she had of him were pictures and my stories. It wasn't fair to her. It wasn't fair to me either. I wanted to believe I had a better grasp on the situation than she did. I mean, I should, as her mother.

But there were times when I would see her staring at pictures of Eric and me from those few months we were together and I'd see the sadness in her eyes. I'd see the millions of questions she had, and a lot of them were only questions Eric could answer. I'd tried to explain to her that I didn't know where Eric was. I had no way of contacting him. He didn't know I'd been pregnant, or that she was alive. Sometimes I got the feeling that when she said she hated Eric, she hated me a little bit, too.

I got up slowly and put Abbie back in her bed. The room Eric had once slept in was now Abbie's room. She knew Eric had once slept in that room. She said she could see him standing in the corner watching over her when she slept. Sounded like a terrifying prospect to me. I couldn't imagine waking up to some strange man standing over my bed, watching me sleep. I'd probably burst into tears, too.

I tucked Abbie in and went back to the kitchen table. I was just about to get started on the bills when the phone rang. I reached over to the counter behind me and picked up the cordless. Tara was calling. She'd married JB du Rone three months after Eric left. A month later she revealed she was pregnant. Her son, Joshua, was born five weeks after Abbie.

"Hey, Tara, how are you?" I sipped my wine.

"Exhausted. I swear, this boy is going to be the death of me." Tara was also six months pregnant with baby number two.

"I'm sorry, honey. I know how you feel."

She snorted and said, "Try that again when you're gestating a buffalo baby."

I giggled and sat back in my chair. "But you finally get to have your little girl."

"Yeah," her mood turned instantly. "About that. Joshua asked if Abbie could come spend the night on Friday."

"Sure. If you're up to it."

"Oh, it'll be up to JB he's gonna take the kids to a Panther's game."

"That's brave of him." I snorted.

"He insisted. Besides, it'll give me a few hours to just unwind and maybe take a bath. I could use a lot more than a long soak, but I'll settle for that and a little quiet time." Tara sighed.

"I bet. What time do I need to drop Abbie off at your house?"

"The game starts at six and it takes about a half hour to get there, so five would be good."

"Sure thing. I'll just drop her off when I get her from the sitter's." I nodded and went to write it on the calendar.

"I don't know how you do it all alone, Sook."

"I don't have much choice, do I?"

"Sure you do. You could marry Sam." She teased.

"Bite your tongue with that!"

"He's been in love with you for years, and he adores Abbie."

"I don't love him like that and you know it."

"Yeah, you're still waiting for tall, blond and selfish to come back."

"Am not."

"Are so."

"Am not."

"_Are so._"

I sighed, knowing this argument could go on forever if I let it.

"I'm just saying you owe it to yourself to be happy."

"I _am_ happy, Tara."

"If you say so." I could hear her shrug. "So I'll see you Friday?"

"Yes, ma'am." I said just as a scream erupted in the background.

"I gotta run, Sook. See you then." Tara hung up before I could say anything else.

I hung up and put the phone down on the counter. I finished off my wine, then got to work on paying the bills.

* * *

**Friday Night**

I had to remind Abbie to give me a hug and a kiss goodbye when she bolted out of the car. She loved Joshua and said she was going to marry him when she got big enough. Then he would be a Daddy, and he wouldn't leave. It broke my heart to hear her talk like that, much less have comparison to draw from in her own short life.

It would be easy to hate Eric in moments like those, except I had no doubt if I'd had a way of telling him I was pregnant, he would have come back. He wouldn't have let Abbie grow up without a father if he had known better. I'd tried to track down Pam, hoping maybe she would be able to get word to him somehow, but I could never find her.

I waved goodbye to Tara and JB, who were sitting together on their porch swing. "I'll pick her up tomorrow. Just call me when you've had enough." I called out to them.

"Will do!" JB shouted back.

I took one last look at Abbie, who was running and giggling through the front yard with Joshua chasing behind her. I got in the car and backed out of the gravel driveway so much like my own. Crickets chirped in the early summer night, serenading me on my drive back to my house on the other side of town. It was a rather comfortable night. All too soon, the humidity would be overwhelming.

I'd had the house upgraded a few years before and now had central air and heat instead of relying on space heaters and window unit air conditioners. I still used both sparingly to keep energy costs down, but it was nice to have them when I needed them. I thought about stopping at Merlotte's for dinner but decided against it.

I'd quit my waitressing job when Abbie was two. It was too hard to have a toddler to take care of and work nights like I did. I got lucky when Sid Matt Lancaster's secretary of thirty-five years decided to retire. I worked regular hours from eight in the morning until four thirty in the afternoon. For the first two years I worked there, Sid Matt had even let me bring Abbie with me to work. He treated her like she was one of his grand kids.

Being that it was a small town, most people didn't blink an eye at seeing a toddler running about. Abbie had enough charm (she got that from Eric, too) to get even the toughest business man to make googly eyes at her. There wasn't a soul alive hard enough to resist her. That made disciplining her difficult but thankfully, she was a rather well behaved child. Usually there wasn't anything a time out couldn't handle.

All things considered, I was pretty lucky. I made enough money to pay my bills and spoil my daughter from time to time, just like my Gran had done for Jason and me. The biggest thorn in my side was Eric. I went through bouts of anger and bitterness where he was concerned, but mostly, I missed him. I refused to let myself think about what we would do on a night like this if he were still around. I would occasionally slip into a self-pity party and let myself imagine being his wife. We'd have another baby already. Abbie wouldn't have that haunted sadness in her eyes. I wouldn't feel like something was missing.

I would deny it tooth and nail, but I wasn't really as happy as I told Tara I was. She knew it, but she let me have my way because I was stubborn as a mule (Abbie gets that from me). In all of my fantasies about Eric, I never imagined him with other women, although I'm sure he'd been with a few in the years since we parted ways. I'd had exactly two boyfriends in the time since he left.

The first couldn't cope with me having a daughter and didn't understand why I wouldn't put him first. Abbie would always be my first priority. That's the way it's supposed to be when you're a mother. What I wanted didn't matter much anymore because I had to think about what was best for my baby. A man who couldn't accept her didn't fit the bill. I had to let him go. It was a fairly easy parting and I can't say I missed him much.

Then there was Alcide. Alcide had promise. He wanted a family and he took to Abbie very well. They got on like gangbusters and I really thought maybe there was a chance we could have a real future together. But then when Alcide proposed to me on Abbie's third birthday, I couldn't say yes. Eric's face came to mind, and it wasn't fair to Alcide if I married him while I was still holding out hope that someday, somehow, Eric might come back to me.

So I've been on my own ever since. I've gone on a handful of dates, but none of them ever wowed me enough to bring them around Abbie. It wasn't right to let her get attached. Not to mention, none of them were her Daddy, and Eric was who she really wanted, too. Even if she told me she hated him every time she had one of her dreams.

I pulled into my driveway and parked around back like I always did. I grabbed my purse and work bag from the backseat. I'd bought a new car the year before. I didn't have a choice. My little yellow car finally clunked out on me. I hit the button to lock the doors and headed around to the back door. I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw a form sprawled out on the chaise lounge I'd been using for sunbathing since I was a teenager.

"Can I help you?" I couldn't see a face at first.

But then his head came up and my heart stopped. Blond hair. Blue eyes. A slight dimple in his cheek. I dropped my bags and thought my knees were going to give out on me. For a good thirty seconds I couldn't breathe.

"Eric?" I could barely get his name past my lips.

He shot up off the chaise lounge and jogged toward me. My limbs moved on their own accord and I ran as well. I jumped into his arms and wrapped my legs around his waist. My body went on auto pilot and I kissed him. I kissed him hard and held the back of his neck as I did it. His kiss was just as wonderful as I remembered, and for the first time in a a long time, I felt alive.

A little voice in my head warned me not to get too excited. He was probably just passing through. His fingers tangled in my hair and there was a definite bulge in his pants. I groaned at the memory of what it felt like to have him inside me, making love to me. I shut down that line of thinking real quick. I would always want him, that much was for sure, but it was hardly smart to just go falling into bed with him. There were lots of things that needed to be said.

The kiss broke mutually and our eyes met. I unlocked my legs from around his waist and he set me down. Then before I could stop myself, I slapped him. Hard. He didn't look surprised. If anything he looked like he had expected that. Good. He deserved it, even if I was happy as a pig in slop to see him.

"Well hello to you, too." He smirked at me.

"Don't you be cute with me." I couldn't stop myself from smiling at him.

"I can't help it." He was an arrogant SOB when he wanted to be.

"What are you doing here? When did you get here? Where have you been? How long are you staying?" I rapid fired all these questions at him.

"Can I come in?" He nodded toward the house.

"It depends. How long are you staying?" I put my hands on my hips and glared up at him so he knew I meant business.

"Long enough."

"Now isn't the time to be vague, Eric. Things have changed since you left, and I can't-"

"I got an apartment in Ruston." He smiled at me.

My heart fluttered. He was staying. For real. I shouldn't have been so happy to hear it.

"That's good." I nodded. "What made you come back here?"

"Can we go inside? I swear, I'll tell you everything." He promised me.

"Damn skippy you will." I reached to get my bags, but Eric beat me to it. I took my purse from him to get my keys.

Eric followed me into the house and set my work bag on the counter. I flipped on the kitchen lights and went to the fridge to get the canister of coffee grounds. Abbie's lopsided grin was the first thing I saw, and it dawned on me I was going to have to tell him about our daughter. I started to panic a bit. It would be one thing for me to just have a kid. It was another for that kid to be _his_. Why had I never practiced _this_ scenario in my head?

"You want some coffee?" I asked over my shoulder.

"No, thank you. I gave that up."

"Iced tea?"

"That'd be great." He smiled and even went to get a glass for me. There were plastic tumblers up there for Abbie, and since he was a smart man, he caught on that something was different. "Do you spill more these days?" He joked.

"Not really, but Abbie does." I closed the fridge and set the coffee canister on the counter. I took the picture off the fridge and handed it to him. "This is Abbie."

My eyes filled with tears as I watched him take in her face for the first time. He looked closely at it and was about to hand the picture back when he caught the dimple in her left cheek. His eyes shot to mine, questioning me as to whether or not she was his.

"I wanted to tell you but there wasn't a way." My voice broke.

"She's...she's..." He stuttered, completely stunned and probably overwhelmed by what I was telling him. "She's ours?" Not yours. Not mine. _Ours._ Like father like daughter.

I nodded and said, "Her name is Abbie Lynn Northman. She was born April 14th at 7:22 in the morning. She weighed six pounds, eight ounces. She was twenty-one inches long. She has blond hair, blue-green eyes and more charm in her eyelashes than some people do in their whole body. She's very smart. She has a wicked sense of humor and she giggles a lot. She inherited my penchant for being stubborn and that free-spirited wisdom you have. She's perfect, Eric."

He nodded, his eyes glued to the picture of her. "Where is she?"

"At Tara and JB's. She's sleeping over. You have great timing." I smirked.

"Tara and JB?"

"They got married three months after you left. Their son, Joshua, is a little over a month younger than Abbie. Abbie says she's going to marry Joshua some day. That way when she has babies, the daddy won't leave." I didn't bother to spare him any of the truth.

"Ouch." He handed the picture back to me.

"She knows about you, but she doesn't understand how it happened. All she knows is that she has a daddy who is out there somewhere in the world who would rather be anywhere but with her. She handles it pretty well most days because of Jason and the other men in her life, but none of them are you. So if you're not going to stay, or if you don't want to be a father, I need to know that now because I can't let her get close to you. It's better if she never sees you than if you come and go from her life."

"I wouldn't do that, Sookie. If I would have known about her, I would have come back. I would have done things right." His eyes were pleading for my understanding.

"I know you would." I put my hand on his arm. "I tried to find Pam. I thought maybe she would be able to get a message to you, but since I didn't have her last name-"

"Ravenscroft. Pamela Ravenscroft." He supplied for me.

"Well, hopefully, I won't be needing that information now." I poured him a glass of tea and put the pitcher back in the fridge. "Are you hungry? I haven't had dinner yet."

"Actually, I was hoping you would let me take you out." Eric said nervously.

"Like on a date?" My eyes widened and he nodded. "You disappear for almost six years and you want me to go on a date with you?"

"It's ballsy, I know."

"Uh, yeah, it is." I leaned against the counter. "What if I was married, Eric?"

"Are you?"

"No, I'm not. I was proposed to once."

"Just once?" He smiled at me.

"I've only dated two men since you left. I've been too busy with work and Abbie. The first guy wasn't really comfortable with me having a kid."

"And the second guy?"

I blushed and said, "He wasn't you."

"So let me get this straight. You wouldn't marry a guy because he wasn't me, but I'm here now and you won't have dinner with me?" Eric got a little closer to me and his scent filled my lungs. Dammit.

"First I want to know why you left." I looked up into his eyes. "I want the whole truth."

Eric walked over to the kitchen table and sat down. In a bold move, he swept me into his lap when I moved to take the other chair. I looked into his eyes and saw that same wisdom I usually saw in Abbie's eyes. If it was possible, he as even more beautiful than I remembered him being.

"It took me a long time and a lot of lonely days after I left you to figure out something very, very important. This entire odyssey was about finding happiness. I knew I had that here with you, but I didn't think I was good enough for you. I didn't know how to be a husband, and that was what you wanted. I didn't know how to be a father, and I knew you wanted to kids.

"I thought it would be better to disappoint you a little then than it would be to stick around because I was selfish. It wasn't until much later I realized the selfish thing was leaving. I thought I was doing you a favor by going but I should have let you make that decision for yourself. You're a smart woman, Sookie, and probably the kindest person I've ever met. I hated myself for leaving.

"After I left here I spent some time in Texas. I moved farther and farther along the southwest. I met a lot of people and I realized I was the odd man out. It was rare to find someone traveling alone for an extended period of time. Maybe a person started out that way, but it didn't usually last. A few months ago I was up in Montana. There was this horse ranch up there and I was watching the owner break wild horses. It was like watching my own life. There was this one horse that refused to break, no matter what the rancher did.

"But I noticed when he put the horse in the stable with the others, this horse always seemed to gravitate to this other horse. They were always together, and it seemed to make the wild one calmer. It made me think of you. I realized that when I'm around you, I don't feel the urge to run. You weren't the reason I left, Sookie. I left because of me. It was what I had to do at that point in my life. It was selfish and stupid, and knowing what I know now, I would take it back in a heartbeat. I have no right to ask you for another chance, but I'm hoping you'll give me one."

"I'll give you dinner. That's all I can give you right now. We'll see about the rest later." I tucked some of his hair behind his ear. "It's _really_ good to see you."

Our eyes met and before I knew it, we were kissing again. It felt good. Too good. I wanted to believe it was just because it had been a very long time since I'd had sex, but I knew that was really only a fraction of the reason I was feeling the things I was. Deep down I knew I wouldn't be nearly as excited about the kissing if it was anyone else. Dammit if he didn't taste as good as he smelled.

When I felt his erection against my thigh, I knew it was time to pull the plug. I wanted him. Boy, did I want him, but it wasn't the right time. I broke off the kiss and sucked in air. Eric took it as an invitation to go after my neck, but I pushed him back gently.

"Eric, wait," I couldn't believe I was cutting him off. "Listen, it's not that I don't want you, because trust me, I do, but I can't just have sex with you."

"It's okay, Sookie." He twirled some of my hair around his fingers.

"Let's go to dinner." I got up off his lap. "Just let me go change clothes first. Make yourself comfortable."

I went back to my bedroom and closed the door behind me. I peeled off my clothes and threw them in the hamper. I found a light summer dress and slipped it on before exchanging my heels for a pair of flip-flops. I pulled my hair into a low, swooping ponytail and changed my earrings. I freshened up my makeup a bit and brushed my teeth for good measure. I spritzed on some perfume and tidied up my room just a bit in case Eric and I ended up in there later.

I opened the door and found Eric across the hall in Abbie's room. He was standing at the foot of her bed in a pose very similar to the one she probably saw in her dreams. I cleared my throat from behind him. He didn't turn to face me when he started speaking.

"She has a picture of us on her nightstand." Eric pointed.

"I think she thinks if she prays on it hard enough, you'd come back."

"Maybe she was right." He looked over his shoulder at me.

"Maybe." I stayed there in the doorway while he inspected our daughter's bedroom.

"She really likes dragon flies, doesn't she?" He pointed to a collection of them on her wall.

"Yep. She hasn't gotten to that phase where bugs are icky yet. I think it's because her best friend is a boy."

"I'm sorry I missed it all, Sookie. I wish I could take it back." There was genuine regret in his voice.

"You're here now. You won't make the same mistake again. You know how I know?"

"How?"

I stepped up to him and held his hands in mine. "Because if you hurt my sweet pea, so help me God, I'll track you to the ends of the earth and kill you myself."

"I will keep that in mind." Eric nodded.

Just about everyone in town would be at Merlotte's since it was Friday night. Those who weren't would be at one of three churches in town playing bingo, then heading to the diner on Main Street for pie and coffee afterward. When Eric told me to choose where to go for dinner, I decided on a little place in the next town over that served mostly comfort foods. I was in need of those at the moment.

While seeing Eric again made me happy, it also opened some old wounds. I told him more about Abbie as I drove. I told him about her first smile and the first time she laughed. I told him about her first steps and how Jason had managed to catch them on video I could show him later. I told him about her first tooth, first haircut, first everything I could think of. There were millions of moments he had missed, and he wanted to hear them all.

We talked about Abbie because it bought us time before we had to cover the more serious things. Not that Abbie wasn't serious, but there were things we needed to settle. Starting with him being a flight risk. I wanted to believe he was really staying, that he was done running from whatever it was that had set him in motion in the first place. I wanted to believe having a daughter was anchor enough to keep him steady. At the same time, I didn't want to let him around her until I was sure of it.

I waited until we were settled at the restaurant and had ordered our meals before I asked my first question. "So, have you spoken to your parents at all?"

"No." He shook his head.

I sighed and said, "You really should call them, at least, and let them know you're okay. You don't have to tell them where you are or explain what you're doing. I can tell you if Abbie ever disappeared like you did, I would be beside myself."

"You're not like them."

"That's not the point, Eric. If you think they aren't worried about you, you're wrong. The point is, until you get some closure on whatever it is between you and your parents that made you run in the first place, you're going to keep on running."

"I wasn't running."

I arched an eyebrow at him. "You can call it whatever you want, but every time you felt a connection to something, you moved on."

"And you're the only one I ever came back to, Sookie, so what does that tell you?"

"I don't know." I shrugged. "For all I know, you forgot all about me. You knew where I was, Eric. I didn't know how to find you, but you knew where to find me. You could have sent a letter. You could have called. You didn't. I try not to hold it against you because I knew when I met you, you were probably going to leave me one day. I want to look at you and not be scared you're going to be gone one day without warning."

"Sookie, I can swear it up and down and inside out until I'm blue in the face but you won't believe it until you see it for yourself. I want to be in your life. I want to be in Abbie's life. I still don't know if I'd be any good at those things I was afraid of before, but if you let me, I'll try. Do you want to know what it was that brought me back here?"

"If you want to tell me."

"I told you this whole trip has been about finding happiness. What I learned is that happiness is only real when shared. I realized the only time in my life I was ever happy was when I was with you." There was such sincerity in his eyes.

"I was happy with you, too." I admitted, then scratched my forehead lightly. "Do you have any idea how much you hurt me by leaving like you did, Eric?"

"I think I have a pretty good idea." He looked away with guilt all over his face.

I took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. "I want to trust you, Eric, but it's not going to happen overnight."

"I understand."

The waitress brought our food just then, and I dug into my mac 'n cheese. I was starving. "Until I trust you, I can't let you around Abbie."

He stared at me with a pained expression. He looked like he wanted to argue, but then changed his mind. "That's fair."

"My life revolves around her now. Whatever she needs comes first. I won't have a lot of free time to spend with you, but I will make an effort." I wanted to tell him I still loved him but I couldn't say that.

We took a break from talking to eat our food before it got cold. The food was delicious as always. There was something about mac 'n cheese that just screamed home to me. It would never be as good as Gran's fried chicken and green beans, but it hit the spot in a pinch. I wasn't paying a whole lot of attention to the soft music playing in the restaurant until Eric suddenly stood up and held his hand out to me.

"What are you doing?" I looked up at him with curious yes.

"Don't you recognize this song?" His eyebrows went up into his hairline.

Oh, yes, I knew the song only too well. It was one of my favorites. It was also the one and only song we'd slow danced to. He moved his hand a bit closer to me.

"Eric, we can't dance here." I shook my head with a flushed smile on my face.

"Who says? Come on, I owe you." He leaned down close to my ear and whispered, "This time, I promise not to bolt before the song ends."

I opened my mouth to protest, but my traitor body got out of the chair. I found myself folded in his arms and my head resting over his heart as we slowly swayed to the music. His large hands covered most of my back and I could feel his breath, warm and moist on the top of my head. My eyes closed and I just breathed him in. My arms tightened around his waist. It was the best hug I'd gotten in a long time, and it didn't escape me how well I fit in his arms.

My eyes opened at one point to see we were being watched by the few other patrons in the restaurant, and our waitress had tears in her eyes. I squeezed Eric, tempted to pull the plug, but I couldn't do it. It felt too nice. When the song ended, he kissed my cheek before sitting me down in my chair again. Our waitress came to us with a big smile on her face to ask if we wanted dessert.

"Uh, no, thank you." I looked at Eric, whom I knew had one hell of a sweet tooth. "I have treats at home."

The waitress giggled before putting out check down on the table. "You two have a good night."

I moved to grab my purse but Eric stopped me. "No, no, I got this."

"Oh, don't be silly. I can pay my half."

"Sookie, _I got this_." The look on his face told me he wasn't in the mood for arguing.

"Okay." I relented and sat back in my chair with my purse in my lap.

"Are you ready to go?" He asked.

"Yes." I nodded and stood up.

We talked more on the ride back with him telling me stories about his travels. He told me about the places he'd seen and the people he met. He told me how some places were harder to leave than others, while there were some places he couldn't seem to get out of quick enough. He'd spent a lot of time in California, mostly at the beach.

"I could stare at the ocean for hours. I'd get there before sunrise and just watch the way the water changed. I'd get so zoned out in my thoughts that I wouldn't notice the people trickling in until I was surrounded. It got so it was hard to hear the roar of the ocean and that was when I knew it was time to go on with my day. Some days I sat there for twelve hours before I moved."

"Isn't that kind of boring?" I looked over at him.

"You'd be surprised the way your mind changes when you're next to something so powerful." He smiled at me and reached for my hand.

My heart did a flip-flop. "You're a smooth talker, Mr. Northman."

"I just call 'em like I see 'em." I was thankful when he didn't kiss the back of my hand. It would have been too much.

"So, just how pissed off was everyone when they found out I left?" Eric asked.

He'd become friends with my friends. They had accepted him into our little hodge podge family and treated him like he'd always been a member. It meant a great deal to me for them to do that. Their anger when he left was understandable. Of course, they hurt for me, but I wasn't the only one he left behind. I was just the only one who got a goodbye.

"They were...disappointed, I guess, when you left. They were angry and hurt, and Jason swore up and down if you ever showed your face again he was going to kick your ass for hurting me. They were even more pissed off when they found out I was pregnant. It took me getting okay with things for _them_ to get okay with things." I explained to him. "Although you can expect to hear Tara say I told you so about a million times."

"Why's that?"

"Because she's accused me more than once of never getting over you and I always tell her she's wrong when she's not." I admitted with a glance in his direction.

"What do we do now, Sookie?" Eric leaned back against the headrest.

"I think we take things one day at a time. It's more complicated now because of Abbie. We just wait and see what happens." I shrugged. We pulled into my driveway a short time later and I parked around back again. "Do you want to come in? I really do have pie inside."

"Pecan?" His eyes sparkled in the fading light.

"Banana cream. It's Abbie's favorite. I made it for her since she did so well on her final report card for the year." I unfastened my seat belt and opened my door.

"I'll remember that." I heard him say as I got out of the car.

Eric followed me into the house. I started a pot of coffee and went to retrieve Abbie's baby book and a few photo albums for Eric to look through while we ate and talked. It was hard to watch him look in on a life he obviously regretted missing out on. He asked a lot of questions about Abbie and wanted to hear every story I could tell.

"You know what the best part is about being a parent?" I asked Eric.

"The killer retirement package?" He smirked like the smart ass he was.

"I don't have to look to anything else to make me happy. Yes, it can be frustrating. When Abbie digs her heels in on something, it's damn near impossible to get her to see things differently. But it fascinates me to just watch her. She makes her own decisions now and her personality is so big it fills a room. I see aspects of both of us in her and it amazes me so much can fit into one tiny person." I stared down at a picture of Abbie from her first Halloween. I was a mouse that year and I dressed her as my cheese in a pale orange sleeper. It was adorable.

For the second year I donned a barbecue chef's outfit and dressed her like a chicken. I know, I know, it's cheesy but it made people laugh and Abbie had loved the feathers on her costume. It was fun to sit there and remember all these little things about her I probably would never think of otherwise.

We talked and laughed about all sorts of things until Eric realized how late it had gotten. "Wow, I didn't realize the time."

I looked at the clock and discovered it was well past midnight. "Me either."

I pushed back from the table and began to gather up the photo albums and things I'd pulled out to show Eric. He helped me carry them to the living room. My eye caught a special album I'd set off to the side so it was out of the way. No one ever really looked at it except for me, and the only time I really bothered was when I added new things to it. It was a book I'd been keeping for Eric. That book was the reason Tara was so convinced I wasn't over him. I told her it was for Abbie when she grew up, but she knew better than that.

I took a deep breath and grabbed the book from the corner of the shelf. In some ways, it was like handing Eric my heart. There were letters and notes inside the book that I never shared with anyone. Some of the things I said were harsh and hateful, while others were fragments of my broken heart put into words. I put it all together on the chance that I actually found him some day. Even if I never saw him again, I wanted him to have it all because it never should have been mine to carry alone.

"I want you to have this." I held the book out to Eric.

"What is it?"

"My life for the last six years. I started putting it together when I found out I was pregnant. There are letters, pictures and things Abbie has made over the years. I didn't know if I would ever see you again, but I thought that if maybe I could track down Pam, she would give this to you for me. I've been adding to it ever since. Some of the things I've said to you in my letters are pretty harsh. I meant every word of it when I wrote it, but I feel differently now. I don't see things the same as I once did." I patted the soft leather covering of the book.

"Sookie, whatever you had to say to me, I'm sure I deserved." There was no self-pity in his voice. He was taking responsibility for the way he left things.

"Well, now you'll know it all." I offered a weak smile and headed for the door. "Did you drive here?"

"Yeah, my car is over by the cemetery."

"Right." I nodded.

He smiled at me when we got to the door. "You know what scared me the most about coming back here?"

"The fact that I keep a loaded rifle in my coat closet?" I joked.

"I've seen you shoot. I've got nothing to be scared of there." He teased, and I swatted his arm playfully.

"Care to test that?" I arched an eyebrow at him.

"Uhh, no, that's okay."

"So what was the scariest part of coming back here?"

"I was afraid you wouldn't talk to me at all. I figured you had probably gotten married to some great guy and had a whole mess of kids with another on the way."

"What am I, a baby factory?"

"I'm just saying I thought your life would be different than it is. Not that you don't seem to be doing just fine like you are, but I thought it would be different."

"It killed me to say no to Alcide when he asked me to marry him." I confessed. "He was doing it for all the right reasons. He loved me. He loved Abbie. We could have had a great life together. I just couldn't help but think about what I'd do if you ever came back, and I knew no matter how happy Alcide and I were together, there was always going to be a part of me that wanted you more and that just wasn't right. It wasn't fair to me or to Alcide, but mostly, it wouldn't be fair to Abbie. She was pretty upset with me when Alcide went away. She didn't understand why he had to go. She asked about him every day for months."

"I'm sorry, Sookie."

"Don't be sorry. Just understand why I can't just hand her over to you. When you _do_ meet her, don't be surprised if she says she hates you. It's going to take time for her to let you in. She puts up these walls when she gets vulnerable."

Eric snickered and said, "She _is_ my daughter, isn't she?"

I smiled and nodded. "Yes, she is."

I reached to open the door for him and stepped out of the way so he could go. I suggested we get together for lunch in a few days once he had time to go over the book so he had a better understanding of what the last six years were like for me. We exchanged awkward smiles and Eric promised to be in touch soon.

"I don't have a phone set up yet, but I will soon. I'll get you the number as soon as I do." He told me. "Is your number still the same?"

"Yep, that's one of a very few things that hasn't changed."

"Okay. Well, goodnight then, Sookie." He nodded and then turned to go.

I wanted to pull him back and kiss him goodnight, but I didn't. Instead I stood in the doorway and watched him walk away. It was hard to watch him do that. I hadn't done it the first time. I knew he wasn't leaving for good, which made it a little easier to deal with. I waved as he turned the corner of the house and looked back at me. I closed the door and leaned against it.

I was overwhelmed with the tears I'd been holding back all night, and slid down the door until I was sitting on the floor. I let myself sob for a few minutes. I figured I'd earned it on account of not being a mess the whole night. Every time I felt my tears rise up, I forced them back. Eric had only seen me cry once before and he'd hated it. I wasn't about to go and make him feel worse.

I got myself together and wiped my face. I pushed myself up off the floor and to my bedroom to change. I'd wash the plates from our dessert in the morning. I pulled off my sundress and put on a tank top and a pair of boy shorts in its place. There was a nice breeze blowing in so there was no need to shut up the house and turn on the air conditioning. I went back to the living room to turn off the lights and lock up for the night. I was just checking my cell phone to make sure Abbie hadn't called when there was a knock at the front door.

It was just after one in the morning. I groaned at the thought of Bill stopping by in a drunken stupor. He'd pretty much given up on the idea of marrying me. He'd started up again when word first go out that I was pregnant since my baby needed a father- yeah, I rolled my eyes at that one- but after a few visits from Jason and his friends, he backed his shit down.

I thought about getting my shotgun from the closet. I wasn't kidding when I said I kept it there. But then I saw the outline of a giant standing outside my door, and it could only be one person. My heart lept up into my throat. I made my way to the door, flipped the lock and pulled the door open.

"Eric, what are you doing here?" I stared up at him.

"I forgot something." His eyes were a bit wild.

I opened my mouth to say something and ended up pressed against the wall with his lips on mine. Oh, he forgot something alright. Apparently he forgot to shove his tongue down my throat. That little voice got louder again, warning me to slow down. Maybe that was the right thing to do, but my body wasn't having it. No, my body was very much on board with finding out if Eric was as good in bed as I remembered.

I'd had six years to dream up all sorts of scenarios and if given the chance, I'd act out all of them. Eric tugged up my tank top and I raised my arms so he could pull it the rest of the way off. His shirt quickly joined mine on the floor. He lifted me easily and my legs circled his waist.

Without me having to tell him to do it, he took me back to my bedroom. He set me down on my bed and I immediately went for the button on his jeans. I carefully unzipped him and pushed down his pants and boxers. He was just as big as I remembered. He was still kicking his jeans away when I wrapped my hand around the base of his length and started to stroke. His eyes jerked to mine and I leaned forward.

"Sookie..."

"Shhh..." I hushed him, then licked the length of his considerable arousal.

I felt him shudder and I stroked a little harder. I teased him a little, only taking the head in my mouth. He tasted salty and just a little sweet. Slowly, I worked more of him into my mouth until I couldn't go any further without gagging. Blow jobs weren't my specialty, or my favorite thing, but I was curious. I'd give it my best shot. I sucked, swirled, stroked and teased until Eric forced my head away.

"Did I do something wrong?" I asked a little breathlessly.

"Not even close." There were stars in his eyes.

He pushed me back on the bed and yanked off my shorts and panties. He dropped to his knees and put my legs over his shoulders. There was no teasing this time. His eyes held mine while his lips closed around my clit. His tongue began its assault and he quickly slipped two fingers inside me when he discovered how wet I was. I squirmed, writhed and moaned as a result of his ministrations, but he didn't relent.

"Ugh, God, Eric...so close." I couldn't even form a complete sentence.

My admission only made him work harder to trigger my release. I exploded when his fingers curled inside me and he hummed against my clit. I came with a scream and an almost violent tug on his hair. My hips dropped down to the mattress. I was still catching my breath when I heard the tearing of a foil packet. My eyes opened in time to see Eric roll on the latex. I scooted back on the bed and he came at me with a predatory look in his eyes.

He settled between my legs and kissed me sweetly. I guided him to my entrance. I'd been waiting for this moment, dreamed of it for so long. It seemed Eric had, too. He rested his forehead against mine and looked into my eyes. It felt like there was something we should be saying but instead, I touched his face gently. His lips met mine again, melting me with the sweetest of kisses.

My legs wrapped around him and he slowly began to push inside me. His hands found mine and held them up on either side of my head, effectively pinning me to the mattress underneath him. It felt good. It seemed to take forever for him to fully sheath himself inside me, but when he did, it was the most wonderful feeling. My eyes filled with tears as he started to move in and out. He took his time, not going too hard or too fast.

"Why are you crying?" He whispered with concern.

"I'm happy." I answered, then kissed him again.

We rolled so I was straddling him. His hands covered my breasts while my hips rocked against his. I leaned forward to kiss him while I rode him. His hands tangled in my hair and he swallowed the moans that escaped me. It felt completely natural to be making love to him. The world felt right.

I flashed on the last time we were together, and I realized it was different this time. There was tenderness between us that hadn't been there before. The last time was an explosion of hormones and emotions we'd stifled for far too long. This time was about finding each other. It was like his soul was brushing against mine, and the result was more tears falling from my eyes.

His mouth closed around my nipple, jarring me from my musings. I moaned loudly and moved a little faster on top of him. I felt so full and complete. The delicious warmth of an orgasm building started in my belly. My hips moved faster and faster, desperately seeking release. We rolled again and Eric pushed my knees up closer to my chest, allowing him to go deeper inside me. We kissed hungrily and his thumb rubbed my clit while he pounded against me.

"Eric, please, I'm so close." I sobbed, my hips trying to meet his.

He kissed my jaw and neck, and then whispered, "I still love you, Sookie. All these years...from the minute I saw you."

I sobbed again and squeezed my eyes shut. Those words were heaven and hell to hear. Tears rolled down my temples into my hair. "I love you, too, Eric."

His mouth found mine again and his thumb moved in tighter circles. My walls spasmed, then squeezed him so tightly he shouted. My orgasm was so powerful I couldn't make any noise other than to suck in air. One, two, three, four more thrusts and Eric came just as powerfully. He slumped against me with his hips still gently moving in an out as we rode out the aftershocks.

The definition of great sex had been redefined yet again. How did he do that? I remembered Tara telling me she knew JB was the one for her when all she could do was cling to him with her mind completely empty of anything but him. I realized I was doing the same thing. All I wanted in that moment was Eric. Forever.

When he pulled out of me, I wanted to pull him back in. He got out of bed and went to the bathroom to dispose of the condom and came back with a warm, damp washcloth. He gently cleaned me up with a sloppy smile on his face. I wondered if he had that same smile on his face after we made love the first time. It pained me not to know.

"Why were you crying, Sookie?" He asked once he was back in bed with me.

We were face to face, our fingers laced together between us. I took a deep breath and tried to put it into words. Really, it all came down to just one point.

"Because I love you and it scares the hell out of me." I confessed.

He didn't need to ask why I was scared and I'm glad he didn't. "I'm sorry I hurt you."

"Don't do it again." I said sternly in my best Mom voice.

He smiled and said, "Yes, ma'am."

He pulled me on top of him and I kissed him deeply. We had a lot of time to make up for and we spent the rest of the night doing just that.

* * *

For those of you who are wondering, this is Abbie:

http:/ www(dot)betterphoto(dot)com/ uploads/ processed/ 0818/ 0804292328381doorway(dot)jpg


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